Lettres de Tewa à Alexander Stirling [PNJ]

My brother,

My slightly incestuous brother, my starlight in the darkness . Once again, you're with friends ... not with me . You always said you wanted me to warn you whenever I needed you . I don't need anybody's embrace, I don't need you wife's comfort or your son's smile, I need you . And you don't belong to me . Nobody belongs to no one . It's a great lesson you teach me, without knowing it .

I will burn this letter .

I must write in order to get these bitter words out of my head, you see . Then I will watch them flying away by the window, tiny ashes soon washed away by the London rain ... I wrote my song of death tonight, my brother . It's a custom amongst my people, it doesn't mean I will die, don't worry . Do you want me to translate it to you ? Of course you want . You always want to understand . Such a wonderful heart you have, my friend ... Don't worry then, even if, I know, it's a rather sad song .


... now I feel at peace, finally . Thank you for all you gave to me . That, my friend, will be what I have on my lips, even if I can't talk, even if you're not beside me, when I die . It's a promise and in the same time, a strange fatality . I love you . Have a good night .

Your Native Tomboy, yours to the end,

My brother,

We could have met tonight . But this time, I was the one with something on my mind, that prevented me from being myself . I can't just wait for you to have some time to lose . It means longing for your embrace so often, and enjoying it so scarcely . Yes, I still love it, the sound of life beating inside your chest, against my ear, as we both drown into sleep . I would say, I couldn't stay deprived of it for too long without dying like a flame deprived of air . But in fact, everyday I do . And I don't die . You can see it by yourself . I'm not even ill, as you feared I would become when we first arrived in this cold and wet land . I wouldn't say anything if there was only me . I would live this way for years, it would never hurt you, would it ? You would have everything you need . A tiny bit of me, nothing more, and if you don't need more, why not, after all ? I only need to look at you smiling, and to know it's because of me .

But there is not only me, now there is this man . He save my life, you see .

He's got this strange looks so many of your men have . You know, I made enough fun of you about it ; he thinks of himself as some great war lord crashing through life without caring about the ones he may trample in the process, he emphasizes his own bad sides in order to look more frightening, he looks everywhere to avoid seeing himself as he really is . You said it was a common behaviour in christian males . Well, you didn't know how accurate your judgement was . He's a quite fine specimen, I would love to introduce you both to each other . But his cold face would'n suit your eager mood, I fear . Really, I can't imagine you becoming close friends . Worse, you could become enemies and I am afraid this would happen since the day I met him . I could'nt fend for you as I always did, he saved my life . This is sacred .

I don't know why I felt the need to tell you about all this . And maybe there would be much more to tell ... Later, when I see more clearly where all this is leading my path . Later I will tell you all . You remain my only brother . Even if one of us dies, or worse, becomes another man, there are things no odds can crush .
I love you .

Spoiler:

My dearest mister Stirling.

I made an acquaintance I just have to tell you about. Yes, a woman, how could you guess?

From the dusk, reddish tainting over the aquatic surface of the fog, from the night just born, she came. Like you did, see? There was nothing, and suddenly, there was she. We met at the pub, we looked at each other, we chatted a while, and already we were gone. Sweet, fresh memory... our voices seemed so unreal, so strangely intertwined. She called me brother, you know? You said people from London wouldn't, but that's right, she isn't from London, no more than I am. Unless this encounter was our baptism. And she christened me by this name, the most wonderful of all. Brother. You told me once or twice that your religion is about brothers killing brothers. Well, maybe the times are a-changing, wouldn't you say? It would be about time. Your continent will burn like the prairies under the sun if your dark faith keeps weighing upon your minds.

But let's not talk about those things, it bothers your futile brain - and my futile brain too. I wanted to describe you the wonderful sighting that was given to me. But is it only possible? And no, you stupid, I'm not in love. It's much more... tender, and magical, and strange. We dance together. Even now we're apart. Can you imagine such a feeling? No, of course not, but you would in an instant if I introduced her to you. But I won't. Something tells me your wife would be angry against me if I did, and you know how much I love you wife. Dear, what a strange sentence to write to a great big important sir Stirling like you, it would be a disaster if some sneak could get to this and read. And make all sorts of stories about you, and make them known to the public. Oh my, oh my. You've become such a sissy concerning what others think about you, it's almost concerning sometimes.

Anyway. Her name's Diane. Maybe you know her? You know so many people now, and she looks so much of a lady... Well, if you knew her, you would talk about her all the time. You like brown hair and black eyes, that's for sure, but you would make an exception. I know you, damn old beggar. I must quit writing, there is another one coming to talk to me, and this seems quite serious. I kiss you with Her perfume on my lips. She's so bright a star, my face must be gleaming... Be a grateful boy and send me some news, at last. I love you, mister Stirling.

Spoiler: